my mum and sister declared today that they "don't like my voice"
when I talk it sounds like i'm "sneering" apparently
yet they can't tell me what to do to make it better, just keep repeating how awful my voice sounds.
This really fucked me up today. I mean other things did too but this was so ...urggh.... what even? what do i do about this? they said it spitefully, not helpfully. They both agree but they had no solutions apart from the fact that i suppose i should stop speaking unless i can do it without "sneering"
i've been literally torn to breaking point this year and apparently it's been throughout this year that my voice has been "sneery". i can't even ask friends about it because i've been so hard at work wall to wall that i've barely seen any friends.
the fuck is going on
so is my voice sneery? who even knows? i'm not trying to sneer.
sorry for typing this here, i've just got to get it out before i explode.
already hard enough not to sh. i cant stop screaming in my head. urghhkldf
just full of anger and hate right now and i'm not even a teenager.
of course in my home there's no room to be happy for anything and no time for rest; i must always be doing something, and something with a high level of stress added on to it if not implied already.
i thought that if i had enough money i would move out, but then i thought i probably wouldnt, because my mother still needs physical help from the aftermath of her knee surgery and i still help her at the top of the stair and dressing herself and stuff . I know i cant leave. but being told every molehill is a mountain when i've battled through so much this year really makes me so, so mad. nowadays it's so hard to stop crying too i do feel quite broken. and yet i'm told my voice is "sneery" and to fix it.
sometimes i feel like a bunch of problems would be solved if i were to cut out my tongue. then i realise that that isn't solving the problems, it's evading them. and really my tongue is pretty cool, i'd be even sadder to see it go. but then again, what doesn't make me sad nowadays? literally not much. i hold no love of life anymore. i hope it comes back, because at the moment it's just a taunting echo which i'm still trying to convince myself with through re-enactment. it hurts when i realise it's not the same though.
any cures for an unknowingly "sneery" voice recommended apart from removal of tongue, or mouth?